


yrs for ever

by orphan_account



Category: Hamilton - Miranda
Genre: Lams - Freeform, M/M, Modern AU, look just pretend they're in college or something okay, my smol son john laurens is insecure af
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-12-10
Updated: 2015-12-10
Packaged: 2018-05-05 22:00:43
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 855
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5391899
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>There are, in this situation, three things you need to know.</p>
            </blockquote>





	yrs for ever

There are, in this situation, three things you need to know;

i.

John Laurens was skilled in the art of longing. He longed for a father that would accept him, he longed for a day in which he’d be confident enough to freely be himself, and he longed for someone to share that theoretical demeanor with.

The face he pictured wasn’t clear. He found that it didn’t matter. The only important aspect of this person was that they loved him, unconditionally.

Sometimes, he laughed at himself. The mere wish that someone could find it in themselves to care about him was ridiculous. Nobody ever had.

John had grown used to the prominent feeling of loneliness he constantly lugged around with him. Lafayette and Herc were nice, took him under their wing when he first got into college.

It was daunting, to say the least, that two people were so willing to befriend him. It still didn’t satisfy him, but he wasn’t particularly surprised.

He had long given up on the hope of being satisfied.

John very clearly recalls the first time he met Alexander Hamilton- not so much the details, or the place.

No. The way he felt, as he laid eyes on him for the first time, completely unaware of the one-eighty his world was about to pull. 

He remembers his breath hitching in his throat, his nails digging into his palms. John had made a mental note to distance himself from this man, in all his passionate glory, because these feelings were trouble.

So, of course, the universe had decided they should be roomed together.

ii.

Alexander was a good three inches shorter than him, with eyes that shone fervently against an ink black canvas. He had a hell of a temper, zero tolerance for bullshit, and was a strong supporter of everything John stood for.

He was doomed from the start. 

It began small; tiny shocks of electricity running down his spine whenever they’d look at each other, butterflies, and sweaty palms. It was evident he harbored a crush on his roommate.

Except, a crush turned into something more dangerous. He felt like Icarus, he knew he shouldn’t fly closer, he couldn’t fly closer, but every time Alexander smiled at him, all the logical parts of his brain shut down.

The man made him helpless, and there was absolutely nothing John Laurens could to keep himself from falling.

He often stopped to ponder how the hell he had found himself in the middle of a crappy YA novel. The only exception was that he highly doubted his story would have the happiest of endings.

It definitely didn’t help that Alexander had terrible sleeping habits, and was overall dreadful at taking care of himself. The man worked himself tooth and nail, refusing to give in or give out.

At least, that’s how it seemed to the world. Lafayette, Hercules, the Schuyler sisters- to them, Hamilton was this unstoppable force.

John was the only one privy to the malnourishment and sleep deprivation, and he had quickly grown fed up with his roommate’s inability to eat a fully balanced meal.

“You can’t survive on caffeine, alone.” John huffed, folding his arms. 

“My dear Laurens, could we perhaps have this argument when I’m not drowning in papers?” 

John raised his eyebrow.

“If I wait until then, we’ll never accomplish anything.” He quipped, and Alexander shot him a tired smile, momentarily short-circuiting his brain cells.

“Look,” John continued, “Just eat a sandwich. Take a break. _Please_.”

Alexander hesitated, slowly setting his pen down. His eyes trailed up to meet John’s, his face unreadable; something very rare. Usually, you could tell whatever it was Alexander was feeling by his facial features alone.

“Anything for you.”

iii.

There comes a time in which desire reaches it’s breaking point. When this happens, you have two choices; you can distance yourself from this person- a temporary solution, at most- or, you could confront them.

Lucky enough for John Laurens, he didn’t have to choose. 

Alexander Hamilton had never been a patient person, had always been the type of man to take something by the lapels and pull it towards him. John just never figured that that something would be him.

Alex tastes like alcohol, and smells like ink, and, _god_ John can’t get enough. His hands rake through the other man’s hair, as Alex tugs him closer. Their lips crash together sloppily, and it’s corny as hell, but it feels like nebulae explode, and stars align, because this can’t be an accident, two souls don’t just find each other by accident.

Alex pulls back, eyes wide and full of something John can’t bring himself to describe. Because if he hopes, even for the slightest moment, if he lets himself go, lets himself fall for Alexander Hamilton, only to find that he had been wrong-

He swallows.

Alexander leans forward again, bumping their foreheads, those eyes of his practically boring into his soul.

“Hey, Laurens?” He breathes, a soft smile on his face, hair tickling John’s nose.

“Hmm?” 

“I like you a a lot.” 

And, for now, John thinks that that’s enough.

**Author's Note:**

> a comment a day keeps the author at bay  
> title taken from the letter that makes everybody scream
> 
> tumblr - heavensclaire  
> ff.net - ClairesNovak


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